Packed lunch for mom

My mom was returning to her home today after a weekend visit with us.  I was making lunch for my girls and added an extra sandwich to the assembly line.  There's a lot to be said for having kids be responsible for their own lunches, but here's what I have to say about making them myself: I like to do it.  I feel appreciated and I feel privileged. As long as I can make the time, I'll make the sandwiches.  So when making a sandwich for my 80 year old mom today, I felt like the circle completed.  She'd done it for me and my siblings for years, now I had the chance to do it for her. I guess my prayer is that I live to see the day when my kids pack my lunch, along side those of their kids.  PBandJ would be just fine, thank you!

How do you build good habits?

My 11 year old asked me this the other night at bed time.  She's been getting upset with herself for not doing the chores that we ask of her.  She wants to do them, but is the type of kid that gets distracted.  I struggled with this for a moment, thinking of all the bad habits we have as adults that take virtually no effort to form.  Good habits on the other hand take consistency and focus, two things that are foreign to many 11 year olds (and adults, for that matter).  I then suggested two jars, one empty, one full of mables (representing intentions to stay focused).  Each time she did a task that could lead to a good behavior, she moved a marble.  If a day went by without a good habit, she'd move it back.  There are now 4 marbles in the previously empty jar.  Good habits according to her:

• cleaned her room
• kept her room clean
• kept her room clean, again
• didn't get upset when coach yelled at her during practice (took it as constructive criticism)

Not sure if there had been more, i.e.  they had a short life in the good habit jar before returning to inventory of intentions jar; but proud of her for taking ownership of this and anxious to see if it lasts beyond the first 2 weeks of school.

Terms and Conditions

Could resist capturing this moment.  My 11 year old had a homework assignment to get a library card.  I sat beside her, knowing that I'd have to help her complete the application since she was under 18.  The first step was accepting the terms and conditions, a step that, as an adult, I'd typically scan with the specific intent of finding the check box to mark and continue.  My daughter, however, took the application process very seriously and thoroughly read the terms and conditions associated with obtaining a library card.  It was a proud parent moment, first because my daughter took this process seriously, and second... because I kept my patience and didn't scream 'just check the box!'

Men and mammograms

While waiting for my annual mammogram, I noticed more men then women in the lobby.   Husbands waiting for their wives, obviously.  My gut told me that the men were only there because of a wife's cancer diagnosis.  Why else would husbands go to the "breast health center?"  I wanted to get up and say "I'm so sorry that you have to take this journey..." knowing first hand how much cancer sucks (and how it's often sugarcoated as a journey). About the only thing that's good about the beginning of the 'journey' are waiting rooms like this one. I remembered getting my diagnosis after waiting in a room that resembled a spa.  I recall thinking how about the lengths that health care facilities go to to create an atmosphere of serenity, when your world feels like it's caving in. Since I'm now in my 6th year of the journey, I feel slightly less anxious about these visits.  I've traded in anxiousness for empathy, feeling a desire to reach out to those who may just be beginning their journey today, the ones who's husbands are sitting next to me now.

Exit Row Strategy

On a recent SouthWest Airlines flight, I was making a connection, with no plane change.  As a passenger, this meant an opportunity to get a choice seat before the new patrons embarked.  I was content with mine, one of two seats in an exit row.  As people boarded, I noticed the flight attendant standing between the two men in the window and aisle seats of the exit row across from me.  They chatted as if they were old friends, as the plane filled.  When almost at capacity, the attendant started offering the seat that she’d essentially been blocking, to approaching petite passengers.  I use the word petite in a broad sense, i.e anyone whose body mass would be comfortably contained with the arm rests, and whose knees didn’t pierce the back of the seat in front of them.  While still in the middle, this exit row seat was prime real estate, considering the flight was full.  An oversize passenger however, would depreciate the value of the adjacent seats which were occupied by the two men who’d been so actively engaged with the attendant.  It was then that I realized their strategy.  She was simply a placeholder.  Attendants need a place to stand during the boarding process, so why not make that simple act a favor to others?  When the plane took off, a young polite college student occupied the middle exit row seat.  She’d been offered the seat by the attendant when she vacated the spot to resume her routine tasks… only after a wink and nod to the two men who’d been privy to the exit row strategy. Until now I’d thought the most successful way to survive the perils of open seating on SouthWest was to avoid eye contact with non-petite embarking passengers.  This experience gave me a new found respect for the creative strategies of seasoned frequent travelers. 

Thrifting fueled by compliments

I love to thrift shop.  The more overflowing with stuff and under crowded with shoppers, the better.  Recently found treasures included a little black dress, fun belts and a bedazzled top that may be a little young for me, but it was designer and only $3.  Yesterday's trip resulted in $5 paten leather shoes, Aerosoles that hadn't been worn.  The clerk commented on how nice they were and I realized that that was yet another benefit of thrift shopping. The excitement over the find is fueled by compliments from other shoppers or the clerks.  Simple words of praise also wipe away any buyers remorse, not like there's much when your total bill is less then what you'd pay for a bottle of wine or a few lattes.

Friends, No Ice and Napa

I like ice in my water, but am fine without, a girlfriend that I've known since college, prefers no ice.  It was my other girlfriend who mentioned that when we were together for a girls weekend earlier this month.  The three of us vowed, in 1999, to get together for a girls weekend every three years.  It's 2014, and it's happened twice; there were a couple of visits in between, but husbands, kids and an occurrence of cancer were involved, so those don't count. What does count is uninterrupted girlfriend time to take note of small things (no ice), and pick up where you left off; even if it takes a few moments, or glasses of wine, to remember where.  What counts is casting aside all the multitasking involved in the daily life of being a mom and wife, so that you can just be a friend for a few days.  What counts are friendships that are timeless, and friends who are priceless.  Thanks ladies for your friendship, endless generosity, and therapeutic shoulders.  Oh, and of course... Thanks for Napa!

Pine Ridge Vineyard, our table, inside their winery cave, set for tasting... hands down our favorite winery!