If only it was as easy as Safety Town

The police officer who presided over Safety Town when my daughter was in preschool, is now conducting workshops on cyber safety.  I still remember Safety Town graduation day, standing room only with parents elbowing each other out of the way to capture it on video. There were tricycles, firetrucks the kids could climb into, stickers and snacks. Safety Town had everything a five year old needed to master the course content of bicycle, poison, fire, and traffic safeguards.  Fast-forward to middle school, and now the course content is cyber safety, and the safeguards are far more complex.  I suppose you can draw a parallel between the inquisitive minds of middle schoolers and the naive minds of preschoolers.  We don't assume that a five year old instinctively knows how to avoid eating something that is poisonous, so we teach them not to.  Likewise, we shouldn't assume that a tween understands the impact their shared pictures or online discussions could have on their college application, so we need to teach them what to avoid.  In order to teach them, we must first learn it ourselves.  Seek out a workshop on digital dangers and kids, I thought I was relatively internet savvy, but I still have a lot to learn.  The workshop I attended was from the Digital Innocence Recovery Group. 

Snow shoveling and neighbors

Three hours... the amount of time I would have spent with a client this morning, but instead spent shoveling... ah, the joy of a corner lot.  My 10 year old failed to make a dent in the ice covered snow when she attempted a snow angel.  That should give you an idea of the weight on each lift of the shovel.  Regardless, I enjoyed the exercise, did my homeowners duty of clearing the sidewalk and made the following observations about my neighbors:

1. some embrace shoveling, strap on their heart monitors and count calories
2. some pitch in and help others, shoveling beyond the boundaries of their own sidewalks
3. some say "Why bother? I've got nowhere to go.  People can walk on the other side of the street."  

While the 'why bother' option was tempting, I'm thankful that I am capable of and have the flexibility in my schedule to bother.  I guess I'm grateful:

1. to have the time and physical ability to do a chore like shoveling (to bother)
2. to show my kids that this is what you do, when your get 6 inches of snow.
3. to have seen the trash collector stop to retrieve what I thought was a soda can, but in fact was an injured bird that he gently moved to safer ground.

My dog was just grateful
for the path to pee

She Made Her Godmother Smile

After going to the theater with friends to see the documentary NED The Movie, I came home and hugged my kids (my sister's nieces), perhaps tighter then I ever had before. The film brought out emotions that I'd buried away, deep enough that when roused, brought tears and perhaps too much familiarity, considering the passage of time. I guess that's the mark of a well done film. A film that I'd like to see go viral (though, I wouldn't suggest it for a date night). The intent of the documentary was to raise awareness for gynecologic cancers. It followed gynecologic oncologist doctors, both as practicing physicians and musicians. In the latter role, they were bringing awareness and healing; the former, depicted the reality of the disease that so randomly, yet decisively kills over 14,000 women in the US every year. What are the odds, that 1 of those 14,000 could be your child's godmother? Their aunt? Your sister at the age of 41... It happened to us in 2008, which is precisely why I embraced my kids so tightly when I came home. As I left the theater tonight, my friend was distributing pamphlets with the warning signs ovarian cancer, I graciously declined. She knew that I was well aware already, having learned from loss (as did she with the loss of her mom). Hug your kids, talk to your siblings, raise a toast with a girlfriend... make some noise in honor of Eileen. I only wish that we'd known the signs... On a lighter note, my nine year old reminded me that "at least Aunt Eileen is having a good time in heaven."  With that, I'm certain, she made her godmother smile!

Diagnosed in March 2008
with ovarian cancer at age 41,
died 8 months later.

http://www.nedthemovie.com/

I Love Lucy vs morning news

This morning, I randomly turned the station on the kitchen tv from my default channel with morning news, to meTV.  I wanted to spare my 9 year old the day's headlines; weather, politics, reports of kindness, followed by headlines that you simply can't (and wish you didn't have to) explain. MeTV airs I Love Lucy  at 7:30am.  Instead of watching the news, I was watching how captivated my child was by I Love Lucy. I don't know how much of it she got, but she laughed, genuinely laughed, which is how a 9 year old should start her day.  Had she been watching the news, she would have seen a girl, her age(10 actually); living in a country, 7,000 miles away; on TV, because of her forced involvement in a failed suicide bombing. Try putting that into terms a child can understand...  I know, when I was 9 or 10, I had no idea what was going on in the rest of the world.  I do remember my parents sometimes watching I Love Lucy. It makes me think that I should tune into more of the classic shows for my kids sake… and mine; after all,  I did make a resolution to laugh more.  Just because the headlines capture my attention, they don't need to and certainly shouldn't, captivate my kids.

Picture books and sixth graders

the read aloud that captivated the tweens

On my way out the door the other night, to volunteer in my 6 grader's religious education class, I grabbed a Christmas themed picture book.  I was a helper, so I hadn't planned a lesson.  I thought my responsibilities would end after taking attendance.  Turns out, I was in charge, and attendance took 30 seconds.  I had to fill 20 minutes before the penance service… which may not seem like a lot, but when I was looking at 18 tweens, who were not looking at me (because they're 11 and 12, and not really that interested in being there), I was at a loss for words.  My appreciation for teachers was once again confirmed, they have a natural gift and an amazing talent for tolerance. So, I pulled out the Christmas book, and started reading aloud.  I never looked up.  The kids were quiet and seemingly mesmerized by the story. Turns out, a picture book connecting Santa to the Christ child can captivate an audience of tweens. Kids are never too old to sit and listen to a great story.

In his mind, he's three

I forget, sometimes, that something I see and regard as not noteworthy, can have a significantly different impression on my children. My daughter and I participated in a 5k downtown over the weekend. At the end of the race, a homeless man was milling through the crowd. He was likely in his 70s and mute (or choose not to speak). He approached us while we were taking photos. He motioned for his photo to be taken, and we allowed him to pose. I didn't give it another thought, my nine year old pondered it though, and asked me about it later that evening. She said 'do you remember that strange man that wanted to have his picture taken? He scared me." Humbled that I'd disregarded something that clearly impacted my kid, I quickly considered how to explain things in terms that she could understand. My explanation, in the simplest of terms, was that in his mind, he was 3, and what does a 3 year old do when there's a camera? She said, 'they say cheese!' Since he couldn't speak, I responded, he gestured to have his photo taken. As to his unkept appearance, I told her that he was likely homeless and that he likely was used to being in this part of downtown all by himself. Since there were so many people there that morning (500+ girls and their families participating in GOTR), he thought it was a party and wanted to be a part of it. She was curious as to why he was homeless, and that, I couldn't answer in simple terms. I merely suggested that sometimes peoples minds work in different ways and its not our place to judge, but rather pray for them.  I'm fairly certain that evening, that instead of fearing that homeless man, my daughter instead said a prayer for him, cause that's the kind of kid she is. I also offered up a prayer for him and a second one of gratitude for the opportunity to talk this through with my daughter. Its so important to be present for your kids, because you never know when you'll have a chance to make, or repair, an impression.

In his mind, he's three. 

Reflections on one day in NYC

Everyone has advice when you tell them you are going to New York City.  I was stressed because I'd not booked a 'if you only have one day' tour or had a plan for a specific restaurant to visit.  My sister, took charge though and arranged for the Statue of Liberty and the 9/11 Memorial, booking on line for both provided reservations for specific times, noon and 3:30.   Commuting in from our hotel in Tarrytown gave us terrific views of the Hudson, a stop at Grand Central Station and the priceless experience of a short trip on the metro… all tourist attractions in their own right.  However, it was in seeing both the Statue of Liberty and the 9/11 Memorial in the same day… one, the icon of freedom and liberty; the other, a memorial to the lives lost at the hands of those who didn't respect freedom and liberty; that defined my trip.  I didn't realize that my one day in NYC would cause me to reflect so much those who'd travelled here over the past centuries to become citizens; and those died September 11, 2001. My conclusion?  What continues to make the United States a great nation is the surviving generations from both those who immigrated, as celebrated by the Statue of Liberty; and those who perished, memorialized at the reflecting pools.  My day in NYC, was not about the food or the things that I didn't see (that everyone had said 'you haaaavvvvve to see')... it was about what I did see.  Visiting those sites made me take the time to realize how lucky I am to be an American, and pause to remember those who died simply because they were American.

In honor of Veterans day, yellow roses were placed on the names of the individuals who were members of the armed forces, and died on 9/11/2001.