In his mind, he's three

I forget, sometimes, that something I see and regard as not noteworthy, can have a significantly different impression on my children. My daughter and I participated in a 5k downtown over the weekend. At the end of the race, a homeless man was milling through the crowd. He was likely in his 70s and mute (or choose not to speak). He approached us while we were taking photos. He motioned for his photo to be taken, and we allowed him to pose. I didn't give it another thought, my nine year old pondered it though, and asked me about it later that evening. She said 'do you remember that strange man that wanted to have his picture taken? He scared me." Humbled that I'd disregarded something that clearly impacted my kid, I quickly considered how to explain things in terms that she could understand. My explanation, in the simplest of terms, was that in his mind, he was 3, and what does a 3 year old do when there's a camera? She said, 'they say cheese!' Since he couldn't speak, I responded, he gestured to have his photo taken. As to his unkept appearance, I told her that he was likely homeless and that he likely was used to being in this part of downtown all by himself. Since there were so many people there that morning (500+ girls and their families participating in GOTR), he thought it was a party and wanted to be a part of it. She was curious as to why he was homeless, and that, I couldn't answer in simple terms. I merely suggested that sometimes peoples minds work in different ways and its not our place to judge, but rather pray for them.  I'm fairly certain that evening, that instead of fearing that homeless man, my daughter instead said a prayer for him, cause that's the kind of kid she is. I also offered up a prayer for him and a second one of gratitude for the opportunity to talk this through with my daughter. Its so important to be present for your kids, because you never know when you'll have a chance to make, or repair, an impression.

In his mind, he's three. 

Reflections on one day in NYC

Everyone has advice when you tell them you are going to New York City.  I was stressed because I'd not booked a 'if you only have one day' tour or had a plan for a specific restaurant to visit.  My sister, took charge though and arranged for the Statue of Liberty and the 9/11 Memorial, booking on line for both provided reservations for specific times, noon and 3:30.   Commuting in from our hotel in Tarrytown gave us terrific views of the Hudson, a stop at Grand Central Station and the priceless experience of a short trip on the metro… all tourist attractions in their own right.  However, it was in seeing both the Statue of Liberty and the 9/11 Memorial in the same day… one, the icon of freedom and liberty; the other, a memorial to the lives lost at the hands of those who didn't respect freedom and liberty; that defined my trip.  I didn't realize that my one day in NYC would cause me to reflect so much those who'd travelled here over the past centuries to become citizens; and those died September 11, 2001. My conclusion?  What continues to make the United States a great nation is the surviving generations from both those who immigrated, as celebrated by the Statue of Liberty; and those who perished, memorialized at the reflecting pools.  My day in NYC, was not about the food or the things that I didn't see (that everyone had said 'you haaaavvvvve to see')... it was about what I did see.  Visiting those sites made me take the time to realize how lucky I am to be an American, and pause to remember those who died simply because they were American.

In honor of Veterans day, yellow roses were placed on the names of the individuals who were members of the armed forces, and died on 9/11/2001.

Your response may help them be a better person.

While hanging out with a friend from her class, a boy that's not in the popular crowd, my daughter was asked:  "why are you hanging out with him?" (think of a bratty tween, and I'm sure you can hear how this sounded).  My daughter told me about it and was looking for advice on how to respond.  I refrained from saying "tell her 'its just say none of her business''.  Instead, I shared that she'll likely face these comments again, and her response can make the inquirer a better person.  I'm trying to teach my kid to be a better person, and in so doing, perhaps her actions will be contagious. I think this made sense to her, but I should probably read up on some 'bully' blogs, in order to help my kids be quick witted and to take the high road, at the same time.

Whisperer still relevant?

I recently had a networking meeting with a marketing professional who is at the peak of her pre-mommy career, one that she'll likely return to after a respectable maternity leave, versus my leave that's now lasted 12 1/2 years.  Over coffee yesterday, I picked up tips from her on following current trends in digital marketing.  I refrained from offering advice or even commenting on her pregnancy, respecting that unsolicited advice can often be annoying. When she mentioned her due date though, I saw my opportunity (even non-meddlers, like to share stuff that we find useful).  In email exchanges after our conversation, expressing my thanks for her time, I shared a book and a baby registry item that I thought were helpful. The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and a bath pillow that resembled a mini beanbag chair. I recall both being essential in making life easier, hopefully both are still relevant.

Great to put on the kitchen counter for sponge baths
 when you're still measuring your child's age in weeks.

 

(I also learned how to use images in my post.) Images courtesy of Amazon