Your response may help them be a better person.

While hanging out with a friend from her class, a boy that's not in the popular crowd, my daughter was asked:  "why are you hanging out with him?" (think of a bratty tween, and I'm sure you can hear how this sounded).  My daughter told me about it and was looking for advice on how to respond.  I refrained from saying "tell her 'its just say none of her business''.  Instead, I shared that she'll likely face these comments again, and her response can make the inquirer a better person.  I'm trying to teach my kid to be a better person, and in so doing, perhaps her actions will be contagious. I think this made sense to her, but I should probably read up on some 'bully' blogs, in order to help my kids be quick witted and to take the high road, at the same time.

Whisperer still relevant?

I recently had a networking meeting with a marketing professional who is at the peak of her pre-mommy career, one that she'll likely return to after a respectable maternity leave, versus my leave that's now lasted 12 1/2 years.  Over coffee yesterday, I picked up tips from her on following current trends in digital marketing.  I refrained from offering advice or even commenting on her pregnancy, respecting that unsolicited advice can often be annoying. When she mentioned her due date though, I saw my opportunity (even non-meddlers, like to share stuff that we find useful).  In email exchanges after our conversation, expressing my thanks for her time, I shared a book and a baby registry item that I thought were helpful. The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer and a bath pillow that resembled a mini beanbag chair. I recall both being essential in making life easier, hopefully both are still relevant.

Great to put on the kitchen counter for sponge baths
 when you're still measuring your child's age in weeks.

 

(I also learned how to use images in my post.) Images courtesy of Amazon

An adjective for another’s voice

I first noticed myself using my mom’s tone in subtle ways.  Then, particularly when I wanted to get someone’s attention or to reprimand, I found myself using her tone more deliberately.  In fact, it became an adjective, ‘my kay redmond voice’.  Anyone that knows my mom, knows that tone.  As I write this, I worry that it may be perceived as  making fun of my mom, that is not the case. She has a way of getting her point across, and commanding attention. That doesn’t come naturally to a lot of people.  Now, having kids of my own, the cycle repeats.  I hear my tone of voice in my own kids.  Today, my older one instructed me to get thick crust pizza the next time I buy it, the younger chimed in immediately and said “don’t you mean to say ‘thankyou for dinner?’ “  I find it endearing, but I’d imagine that they find it humorous and will one day blog about the ‘kate diday voice.’

Preserved pre-business casual attire, now halloween costume

I exited the workforce to raise a family in 2002.  Business casual attire was just starting to be the trend, but I was proud of the investment I’d made in my professional wardrobe!  So I packed it up and stored it.  Now, my 11 year old is using an old blazer for this year’s halloween costume.  She’s a secret agent, and loves the oversized black jacket (with, may I add, subtle shoulder pads).  Who’d of thought my hard earned paycheck $s, smartly used to buy the fashion trends of the late nineties, would have ended up in the costume box.  I only wish I would have kept that first cell phone of mine. A bag phone, complete with the faux leather zipped cover and handle.  That would have been a huge hit with the kids.

Almost as good as lasterday

Had one of those priceless conversations with my 11 year old at bedtime tonight.  I wouldn't trade these conversations for the world, and hope to always remember them... which is partly why I blog.  Tonight, she introduced a new phrase "another o'clock."  We were discussing the impact of me returning to work, and I explained how I'd likely have to start work by 8:00.  This, she thought was fine, since she'll be in school at 7:45.  Then, she simply suggested that I return home from work at "another o'clock" to be here when her school day ends. This, from the genius who at the age of 4 coined the phrase lasterday.  Lasterday was how she referred to anything that occurred in the recent past. It made much more sense to her then the word yesterday, and we all agreed, naturally!

Grief creep

Just when you think you may have finished the grieving cycle, little things happen that allow grief to creep in.  I was at the pool yesterday watching my daughter and nephew (9 and 8) play baseball... they were striking a very worn water-bomb-ball, using their arm as a bat and jumping in to swim the bases (whose location was visible only to the two of them).  This lasted for over an hour, and there were no bad calls, no outs, frequent re-dos and lots of pure fun.  I wished my sister, Eileen, was sitting there with me to watch her son and niece.  I remember when, 12 years ago, we had agreed that we'd stay close, so our kids would grow up playing with their cousins. We planned for it, bought houses in the same city, had 5 kids between us... What we didn't plan on, was cancer. She got it first, ovarian.. then I was diagnosed with breast.  8 months later, only one of us remained.  That was nearly 5 years ago.  So there it is, grief creeping in on a warm sunny, otherwise perfect pool day.  With this creeper, though, there were no tears.  I just said a prayer asking God to make sure Eileen had a great seat to see this baseball game.  Since she wasn't sitting next to me, here, I know she must be with our dad taking in the view from Heaven.

Weed-wacker for hedge trimming

I'm in awe of the friends of mine that are transitioning household chores to their kids.  I occassionally get mine to clean their rooms, perhaps even vacuum and dust... but that's only after asking 3 times.  A neighbor of mine has her kids not only doing chores at home, but distributing flyers to do chores around the neighborhood... for a fee, naturally.  That's the kind of parent I thought I'd be, and I know there's still a chance.  So, as I was using the weed-wacker today in the yard, around the sidewalk and beds, I thought, this is something that eventually the kids could do... Then, I noticed that the hedges also needed trimming, so I simply hoisted up the weed-wacker and took care of the hedges as well.  This is not something that I think my husband would approve of.  In fact, if my kids ever do use the weed-wacker, and I see them attacking the hedges, or anything above ankle height,  I'd likely yell at them...'what are you thinking?'  If, however you choose to try it, it does seem to work just fine.