On the way to John Hancock

During a recent trip to Chicago, I was trying to map out a day that did not involve spending a crazy amount of money. The girls had already said that all they wanted to do was go to a gift store to spend the money they'd brought. One had rolled coins and cashed in her change at the bank for a total of $32.50, the other brought her earnings from the tooth fairy, $8 (all in $1 coins).  We left our hotel at 9:30 am, first destination, the John Hancock building. After that, I was preparing myself for a long day of searching for the right combination of stuffed animals, with a combined cost of $40.50, and net worth of $3.98.  We got off at the wrong bus stop, but we were right in front of a gift store.  30 minutes later, we left with souvenirs for everyone and gifts for the bffs of the 11 year old, it was meant to be.  Across the street was the Contemporary Museum of Modern Art, with a two story gift shop inside. Browsing through there took another hour (never made it inside the museum)In the end, our bags were full of unique toys, cool keepsake charms, one stuffed animal and a obnoxiously bright green scarf (which the girls picked out for me), all under budget.  Never made it to the John Hancock building that day, but had a lot of fun on the way.

Today's Special

My kids are polar opposite when the clock strikes 7:57am on a school day. There are days when my 5th grader is still causally eating breakfast, while the 3rd grader, who's been up and dressed for 30 minutes, runs chaotically through the house looking for socks, shoes, or books. She exhibits so much anxiety, that you think her world will in fact end if she can't find what she's looking for.  Since I never know what will set her off, I like to call it "Today's Special". Today's Special in our house was a library book. The search for it featured stomping feet, slamming doors, tears and finger pointing. My 5th grader, un-phased by the chaos of the search, diffused the situation by quietly going to her sister's backpack and retrieving the book. She thinks methodically, while her sibling is more reactionary. I enjoy the mornings when there are no 'Specials' on the menu, but when there are, I find it interesting to observe how everyone in the house responds, it speaks volumes about our family dynamics. Even the dog plays a role, she just finds a remote spot to curl up in, and stays out of the way.

Continuing Education...$10, the Experience, Priceless

I am currently in the active stage passively looking for work.  By that I mean, I have a resume, but no business card; a LinkedIn account, but am not active in group dialogue; recent experience, but my references are from work a decade ago.  So, with two kids in elementary school, who have grown accustomed to a parent at home, and a family budget that would definitely benefit from two parents working, I'm feeling the pressure of finding that perfect source of second income.  The one that finds the experience from my career in the 1990's and 2000's relevant, and the appreciates the efforts I've invested  to become current with whats needed in the 2010's. Tonight, that investment was 2 hours and $10. I attended a seminar entitled "Using Social Media to Build Your Business."   I had the privilege of being in the room with six small business owners.  That alone was worth the ticket price, they've followed their dream, and are seeking knowledge to succeed.  The presentation itself was also worthwhile, covering as much as you can in 90 minutes. But, it was enough to get my creative juices flowing and fuel a strategic approach to finding freelance work, rather then settling for passively looking. Thanks TechColumbus for hooking me up with tonight's seminar at IncreaseCDC

Jack's missing

I remember stressing about my kids connecting with a material possession when they were babies. Not sure why this was so important to me at the time.  One of those new mom things, that you later realize could lead to stress.  The kind of stress that occurs at bedtime, when your now eight year old daughter cannot find her monkey "Jack", and she NEEDS him for her school project TOMORROW and I DON'T UNDERSTAND how important this is and WHAT IF WE NEVER FIND HIM?  (This is what I created, by thinking that my infant child needed to bond with a WEBKINZ).

After two hours of looking, my daughter asked "what was that prayer that we said when my bracelet was lost? Because that worked, we found it."  So we together prayed " Dear St Anthony come around, something's lost that can't be found'  This precious child took comfort in that prayer, and I prayed even harder that  Jack would in fact be found.  It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but it was huge, and the ONLY thing that mattered to my daughter.  So, when Jack was found the next day, there was much happiness, and confirmation of faith in prayer... something that is aways good for a child to experience.

The highest compliment

When saying good night to my 8 year old tonight, she mentioned that I was a great mom.  When I asked what I had done that was great, she replied "everything".  I stared right in the face of the insecurities I'd been having about my life and said... TAKE THAT!  I AM GREAT.  Never underestimate the power of a child's simple comments, and cherish them when they are spoken at the most unexpected moments.

Hitting the parenting books again

As an expectant mother in 2001, I diligently read What to Expect when You're Expecting, then, that was the 'bible' for expectant mothers.  Everything was new, exciting, confusing, I was a college educated, career-focused thirty-something, mom-to-be, who thought one book would help prepare me for what was about to happen in my life.  Yeah, well, kind of.... but not entirely.  Two years later, I bought the sequel What To Expect The Toddler Years, only to realize I was too late.  My daughter had already sailed through most of the phases they discussed, oops, hadn't expected that.  Now, 12 years later, I try to attend the occasional parent seminar.  Some I've recently been to have been on topics including bullying, cliques, social media and kids.  With each one, I learn a little, but mostly leave vowing to be more on top of it; and always, I leave thinking 'Did my parents spend this much time trying to learn how to parent? And, how did they manage to get me and my three siblings through adolescence with the core set of values that carried us into our adult lives?' So, I decided to go back to the books.  I have a handful of partially read parenting books, that I vowed to complete this year.  In keeping with that resolution, I added another to the collection (why read five when you can add a sixth?)  But this one, I will finish.  Its called Girl's Night Out.  In reading the preface, I learned that my timing is good, as its intended for mothers of tweens.  Its subtitled,  Having Fun with Your Daughter While Raising a Woman of God.  I've already started it, and read about the first two 'nights out.'  One involves a date for high tea, the other a facial... sounds good.  Hold me accountable, I will blog my progress.  I intend to go through the series of dates, first with my niece, then my oldest daughter.

I'll be honest, I'd thought I'd be taking the lead on this type of thing from my sister, since we'd vowed to raise our kids in the same town, and she had a two year head start on me in motherhood.  But, God's plan was different, as you may have noted in previous blog posts.  Her kids are being raised in a single parent household, with watchful eyes from their mom in heaven. I am not ashamed to admit that a script would be helpful at this point, its been 4 year since her death and I'm still winging it in conversations with her girls.  If the book helps me sort through this stage, it will lead to many wonderful nights out with my girls and my nieces.  Stay tuned...

Family access to medical records

No humor in this post, in fact I had to stop myself from calling it the "I hate HIPAA" post.  I know that regulations exist to protect privacy, and I know that I'm not the first to complain about how HIPAA has made life difficult.  But this is in regards to HIPAA making death difficult too.  My sister died 4 years ago and I'm very close with her tween-aged daughters.  My sister and I had both gone to the same ob/gyn and I recently requested to see her records so I could share details about her puberty, should my nieces want to know.  I'd assumed my sister had listed me as authorized to share medical information, but found out that she hadn't.  Why would she? We talked all the time, there'd be no need for me to contact her doctor... unless she died at the age of 41... which she did.  If you are married and have siblings, or a best friend, add one of them to your medical file as authorized to receive information.  If not, HIPAA requires proof from the executor of the estate.  My brother-in-law is dealing with life as a single parent, he defers the kids to me when it come to the 'girl stuff,'  but since my sister didn't have the foresight to list me on her medical files, I now have to defer to HIPAA to get to the "girl stuff" records.